"Procrastination is one of the most common and deadliest of diseases and its toll on success and happiness is heavy." ~Wayne Dyer
Procrastination. It's an art I have mastered. I go to bed each night with the best of intentions for the morning to come, only to awaken to a multitude of excuses, starting with something I like: "I worked so hard sleeping last night, I deserve 20 more minutes in bed." After all, what if I never get the chance to sleep in again? I'm a medical student, such a thing is definitely a possibility. Before I know it, it's too late for my morning run. A few more slaps of the snooze button, and there goes time for breakfast. As wonderful as it feels to snuggle in a nest of blankets and pillows, for me, it comes at a price. Procrastination begets more procrastination, and instead of enjoying the hot shower that follows my reluctant emergence from bed, I ruminate over the run I didn't do, fret over breaking last night's promise of breakfast, and worry about the fact that the day ahead of me is now most certainly doomed!
The food addict in me sees a logical solution to this problem. Eat chocolate today, and be healthy tomorrow. Feel good now. Worry later. Stuff my face until all I am aware of is the creamy texture in my mouth, the sweet taste on my tongue, the bliss of being completely separated from my emotions. Until the stomach ache rages and the guilt seeps in, followed by regret, and the damn strong temptation to start the cycle all over again.
But I've learned, time and again, that ecstasy can come from the very things I work so hard to avoid. I've never returned from a run saying, "Geez, I sure wish I didn't do that". I never keel over from gut rot after eating a big green salad. So why do I work so hard to avoid these things? Why is it so much easier to turn to cake? Is it habit? Self-loathing? Is it fear of failure? Of success? Is it just plain laziness? I don't know.
I'm starting to focus on how good it feels to treat my body well, and it's getting easier to slip on the runners and jog out the door instead of flopping on the couch with a bag of chocolate chips. The feeling of accomplishment and exhilaration I feel post-run whips me into a spiral of healthy choices. I go to bed with high hopes and higher expectations for tomorrow….until the morning alarm sparks another flood of excuses….
